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Boing!

by Michael Keaton

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1.
Intro 00:40
2.
got a big hands got a big hand with a small thumb I know it's true because it's mine I know it's true cuz it's my hand I love my thumbs I LOVE my thumbs I've got big paw prints it's on my thumb give me $10 I'll take just $10 please give me $10 okay I don't need $10 I'm a big man I'm a big man I'm a big man I'm a big man I'm a big man I'm a big man you see the big man cuz I'm the big man don't underestimate me I've got really small fingers but I'm ready to go I'll cut ya I'll cut ya I'll make you bleed all day and all night I know just where to cut ya up You've got small hands too that's cuz you're cool, like me, like me too, yeah I've got the biggest sandwich on the block you know it's true we know it's true, true true true don't you mess with my big hands with my big hands with my big hands you know that I'll strangle you yeah I'll strangle you I will strangle you all day all night night with my big hands I'll show you where I go to town I go downtown every night with my clowns, my cronies we take some in the club, it's alright cuz we're cool like that now I'm cool like that
3.
I can see what you're trying to say I'm not interesting brought you out to lunch at McDonald's I'm not interesting you think I'm not interesting you know I'm not interesting too poor to take you out to eat at a five star joint too lazy so I take you out to eat... star joint (???) you say you're tired of my shit just wanna go relax well I've [?????] {????} relax french fries french fries french fries french fries hamburgers too because we are that cool french fries french fries french fries french fries because we've got blue eyes I've got a hungry hand his name is fingernail made of the ivory keys on this keyboard something inhale y'all know it's true hey won't you touch my hand like that please what the hell (come on guys what was that)
4.
you said you were the one but now everything turned to shit because I found out you were a man and that's okay but I don't know who I am who I am yeah yeah yeah something else something else something else something else where is my underwear oh where is my underwear where are my figurines oh where are you? where have you gone where are my hands I have no feet I have no limbs where have you gone where are my hands I have no feet where are my limbs oh where have you gone in my life because now I'm so alone without you, captain hamburger I'm lonely lonely and homeless lonely and homely I have no hands.
5.
Trashcan Kid 01:21
bring it on let the big boys play their thrashing bashing all out the holiday believable, like a trash can can't you see how your friends can help the community immunity, feeling like a spaceship racing fast as molasses over the country hungry, hole in my stomach growling plowing through a big mcdolands this early earlybird you know I catch the worm surely surely as I catch a hooligan yearning yearning for the alphabet, and jesus wept, and cry me a bucket of tears for all the girlies tasting like a fable, no I'm not sorry why you think I'm jacking shit up, sorry mothafucka please, scar-ee worth sorry sorry this and sorry that, sorry speaking really fast because I don't know what to say and thejeifei nieonneo wawen ieawmew0jg54wtm5u45&^(*) (oh we just ran out of money) (john worthing wrestling a chair)
6.
You abandoned me love don't live here anymore just a vacancy love don't live here anymore when you lived inside of me there was nothing I could conceive big fat BIRD! crossin' the street had on a funny hat why's he looking at me (I've got fries) had a funny hat (uh oh!) why's he looking at me (who knows!) why's he looking at me (why you lookin at me) why's he looking at me KING KONG WAS A GOOD MAN big ass bird with the funny hat (get out) big ass bird with the funny hat big ass bird kill that bird somebody kill that bird kill it for me! kill my father and my mother during a garage sale, I was making lemonade for the guests and then they came out with an ax and I was like aw shit my parents gone insane, so I went inside
7.
mmmrruyurssshhhhhsee you tomorrow??? vasshsheeenglgleeiiiiiiiieeeballoweerrrrrrrr take err shaddoowwwn nnm soooooo whaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrowwwwwwww take this wihhsichsiv ronefoijdsf okay I'm done transcribing this album now
8.
Donkey Man 02:48
9.
Starlight 01:47
10.
1991 02:11
11.
Alena Cosby 02:05
12.
Fuck 01:08
13.
14.
15.
16.
Coffee Days 02:14
17.
18.
What Is Now 01:26
19.
20.
The House 03:06
21.
22.
Cool 01:03
23.
Jazz Critics 01:10
24.
Southern Man 02:05
25.
26.

about

Michael Keaton was an alternative rock band whose quirky characters and overwhelming charisma won the hearts of many, encapsulating the sound of the early 90s forever.

Basically, this is found audio. We've looked all over for this record and have been slowly piecing together the following information over the past few years. It may not be 100% accurate because it's all taken from locals mouths, but it's all general consensus from everyone we asked, so:

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In 1994, three high school friends - Egg, Bert, and Ernie - got together and formed a lo-fi folk band named Eggbert. They went on to record two releases, Pitter Patter EP (1994) and Bill Cosby's Dirty Secrets (1995). Before Eggbert, however, Egg and Bert exercised their creative passion under a different act - Michael Keaton.

After graduating as the class of '89, Egg & Bert (at the time still going by their birth names, Michael Hand and Keaton Fishbowl) separated from Ernie over the years. In 1990, the two befriended a peculiar fellow named John Worthing at an open mic. John Worthing piqued their interest with his nasal timbre, Casio keyboards, and array of dollar store instruments. After further discussion, the three decided to join forces and form the legendary band we know today as Michael Keaton.

In 1993, the year of Michael Keaton's unfortunate disbanding (due to the tragic death of John Worthing via Pepto Bismol overdose), Michael Hand and Keaton Fishbowl were forced to change their legal names to Egg and Bert to avoid complications with the law (connected to their involvement in the bootleg pink bismuth cartel) - going on to reunite with Ernie at the very same open mic that they met John Worthing (rest in peace) at.

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THE RECORDING OF "Boing!" (1991)

After deciding to work together as a musical act in 1990, the three decided to start building a fund for their debut album. After many months of building funds and writing songs, they finally had accumulated enough money to cover the expenses of recording a full studio album. They hooked up with Dungaroo Studios and got the process started. They had a few tracks down, when John Worthing came into the studio intoxicated and shirtless to deliver the unfortunate news that the entirety of their remaining funds had been spent on beanie babies and pink bismuth.

Distraught (and angry), Michael & Keaton took their few professionally rendered tracks and went home. Afraid their dream of recording a feature length album was dead, they searched their house for musical gear. After days of scouring, they ended up pulling together enough hardware to finish their album - DIY. Some believe this unfortunate happenstance lead this album to be the diverse musical monster it is.

Following the release of the album, Michael Keaton toured the east coast. A clip of a North Carolina performance is available at the end of the Japanese release of the album, as a bonus track.

----------------

We looked long and hard for this release ever since we learned of MK's existence, and we're happy to have finally tracked down the record collector who owned both A) a (shitty) vinyl as pictured which plays like trash, so fucked up, and B) A good ol' CD with the audio we put out (although the CD was jmadly scribbled over with sharpie...???)
We are proud to be the first people to introduce these people to cyberspace, and consider ourselves the curators of this found wonky-ass 90s

credits

released May 1, 1991

This album is by the great band, Michael Keaton. There whereabouts of any of the members is entirely unknown. For all we know, they may have all passed away. God bless.

Michael Hand - Vocals
Keaton Fishbowl - Guitar
John Worthing - Keyboard, Vocals, Drums, Kazoo

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Michael Keaton North Carolina

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